Britney Spears And Lynn Minmay - Weapons Of Choice

Many techniques have been tried in the battle against Somali pirates. Pulling out all stops, the Scottish merchant navy has brought out the heaviest weapon in the Western world's arsenal - Britney Spears.

(Britney Spears, weaponized pop star)

Not every member of the merchant navy can be Captain Phillips, and so as Somali pirates continue to be a maritime threat, protective forces have turned to a new force of weaponry: Britney Spears.

Specifically Spears’ chart-topping hits Baby One More Time and Oops! I Did It Again, which according to a representative of the merchant navy, are the songs the pirates presumably “hate the most.”

“These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect,” Scottish merchant navy officer Rachel Owens told the U.K. Mirror. “They’re so effective the ship’s security rarely needs to resort to firing guns — as soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney they move on as quickly as they can.”

Navy members use the pop tunes, which are played at extremely high volume, when initial warnings fail to have an effect on the pirates. “The speakers can be aimed solely at the pirates so as not to disturb the crew,” Owens said, noting that pirates will often wear earplugs to avoid hearing the songs.

Fans of Robotech (1985) may be thinking about Lynn Minmay, whose music defeated an army.

(Lynn Minmay from Robotech)

Dolza orders the fleet to prepare to fire again but before the fleet can fire, the Alaska base, which survived the initial attack, fires the massive Grand Cannon which destroys a large portion of the Zentraedi Grand Fleet. The SDF-1, along with the allied Zentraedi under Breetai launch an attack against Dolza's massive planetoid homebase. Lynn Minmay sings throughout the battle and its broadcast causes the Zentraedi commanders throughout Dolza's fleet, who have had no exposure to human emotions, to become mentally crippled and unable to fight, causing disorder through Dolza's forces…

Dolza, who was smiling just a few moments earlier, suddenly wears a look of shock and fear as he realizes what is about to happen. Looking at his computer monitor, he watches Minmay singing "We will win," which is the last thing he sees before he is vaporized. The planetoid base explodes with enough force to destroy the rest of the Zentraedi Grand fleet.

Via National Post; Thanks to BajaB for the tip on this story.

Scroll down for more stories in the same category. (Story submitted 10/31/2013)

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