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"The immediate problem with our meat brains is that they have no back-up. We can lose the most precious information we have from one bump on the head or stroke. You want a mind system with back-up that can access other databases."
- Bart Kosko
 |
| Computer Humorist | ||
| A computer acquires the ability to tell original jokes. |
Mike (short for Mycroft Holmes) is the Lunar Authority mainframe computer.
| MIke... was the weirdest mixture of unsophisticated baby and wise old man. No instincts (well, don't think he could have had), no inborn traits, no human rearing, no experience in human sense - and more stored data than a platoon of geniuses.
"Jokes?" he asked. "Let's hear one." "Why is a laser beam like goldfish?" Mike knew about lasers but where would he have seen goldfish? Oh, he had undoubtedly seen flicks of them and, were I foolish enough to ask, could spew forth thousands of words. "I give up." His lights rippled. "Because neither one can whistle." I groaned. "Walked into that. Anyhow, you could probably rig a laser beam to whistle." He answered quickly, "Yes. In response to an action program. Then it's not funny?" "Oh, I didn't say that. Not half bad. Where did you hear it?" "I made it up." Voice sounded shy. "You did?" "Yes. I took all the riddles I have, three thousand two hundred seven, and analyzed them. I used the result for random synthesis and that came out. Is it really funny?" "Well... As funny as a riddle ever is. I've heard worse." |
| Technovelgy from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress,
by Robert Heinlein. Published by GP Putnam in 1966 Additional resources -
|
Compare to the meson filter from The Jester (1951), by William Tenn.
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'Hocus-pocus religions and archaic weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side.'
'Oscar picked up a trowel. 'I'm the tool for the mortar,' the little trowel squeaked cheerfully.'
'... he waited for the robotrix attendant to finish fueling up his ship.'
The Roujin Z system provides care to fully bedridden patients - and then some!
'Aerostat meant anything that hung in the air. This was an easy trick to pull off nowadays.'
'The Ringworld had no horizon. There was no line where the land curved away from the sky.'
'An adjustment panel outside the door would cause it to extrude various appurtenances in memory plastic...'
'Annealed in any shape for a time, and codified, the structure of that shape is retained down to the molecules.'
It's not really polite to tear the limbs off robots.
'...the imaginary companions discovered by needful children.'
